I've Had Enough

jlarchive:

After reading my mom’s post on shutting down her tumblelog, I can’t help but agree, and it’s time for me to end this.

It’s not about Tumblr, specifically. It’s about the web in general. It’s become overrun by too many animals. One of the last straws was adventures of mascarah, who, after reading a few posts where I expressed myself, wrote this:

I will say that if you cut off his head he still looks much better here than with his new shorter locks and Office Space/ child molester glasses. You might not have been happy then, Jake, but wow, you looked so much better.

I may be a millionaire but I this sort of thing still hurts. If this were a one-time thing, I could deal with it, but it happens several times a week, no matter what I do, and I can’t avoid seeing it. To be hit with a personal insult, from a stranger who knows only my blog persona, yet attacks me as a person, is an awful feeling.

Another last straw was this Gawker post, where I wanted to learn multiple basic summaries of the China situation as a starting point for a larger exploration of the country. I was torn to shreds (I still don’t understand why) by the poster, an elf who has never talked to me but stammered a darted his eyes when I encountered him at a party a year ago. Worse than the post were the comments. Imagine reading these things about yourself:

• Boil. Your. Face.
• His relationship with Julia “hey guys, I need to write an article, send me stuff and do it for me” Allison makes so much sense right now. They’re BOTH what’s wrong and evil in this world.
• Oh, he’s my least favorite brand of asshole: the kind that thinks being an asshole makes him edgy. It doesn’t. It just makes him an asshole. He sucks.
• Please kill yourself. You’re completely worthless.
• I didn’t think it was possible to hate him more. But it is, apparently. He needs to shut his ugly face. We can call him ugly without fear of retribution in the form of execution right? Ugly. Inside and out.
• Ha. Seriously. Fucking Napoleonic complex to go with his undoubtedly tiny ween. Also, ugly.
• I saw him at the Bedford Ave subway station a week ago, looking like an escaped mental patient dressed as a retarded toddler.

The last one really pushed me over the edge. Not only do these people attack me online, but they recognize me in real life. That’s the kind of thing I don’t want to think about while out and about.

The absolute worst, though, has got to be the attacks for any display of self-confidence. You may conceptualize the Unites States as a great nation. But it’s also a big tribe, with its own irrational taboos. One of them is: don’t talk proudly about your achievements.

Unfortunately, my line of work requires me to aim high. If you can’t stomach that, fine, but consider the long-term effects of bashing me and others who goals are to innovate. Entrepreneurs, artists — our jobs are not easy; they require doing something new. This means we assume risk — our business could go bankrupt, our art could be despised. Perhaps you are happy with the current state of USA. I am not — I am deeply unhappy with it — and I want to change it.

But going forward, Jakob Lodwick, the person, is withdrawing from the public web. You will see the results of my efforts through Normative and other companies. I just cannot deal with these animals any longer.

Oh god. This makes me cry. Firstly because of how mean and horrible people can be, (Although that isn’t news to me, it makes me sick every time I think about it. Especially when all of the people I know are all so nice (thank lord) and the people I hear from online are always saying something helpful and positive, hearing about people like that can really hit hard.), and secondly because I’ve really enjoyed Jakob’s genius over the few years and hate to see people saying such heartless things about him because he IS an artist, an entrepreneur. (I mean… where the fuck did people go wrong with him? How?) Ugh

I’ve never gotten extremely involved with or shown how much I’ve known or followed the people who made vimeo/worked in the cv offices, but the things that they (and the people like them) do have changed my life. I know so much more now because of Tumblr, I learn a million new things every day. After watching countless videos on Vimeo I am inspired and have people to both idolize and laugh at. I get so much insight on so many things and have tons of new goals and teachers better than any I’ve ever had in school. Don’t fuck with these people. Please. (I mean… Holy crap.)